I never blog about anything controversial. Mainly because I am horrible when it comes to confrontation. But there has been something that has been bugging me for a long time. And I just need to get it off my chest.

Malaysians are obsessed when it comes to titles. Have you noticed that? There are 9 kings giving out titles every year to less than deserving people, I might add, and that doesn't include all the other people who are "born" with titles.

It is so very extensive, and complicated, that it borders maniacal and ridiculous. Scratch that, it's over the border, over the fence, and is downright nonsense.

When I was in school, and was forced to attend this majlis, and that majlis, usually attended by someone or other who was entitled. And the titles that preceded her or his name was usually 5 times longer than the actual name. This is what we have come to call protocol. Here's an example of how the sequence goes.

Honorary Style, Professional Rank, Royal Hereditary Title, Federal Title, State Title, Non-royal Hereditary Title, Doctor (of medicine or philosophy), Haji/Hajjah (for Muslim men and women who have performed the Hajj), Name. Read more nonsense here.

I found it all frustrating and nonsensical, especially when the event has got nothing to do with him/her dignified one. Charities, sporting events, concerts, intellectual discourse, it all begins with them. That of course, doesn't include the seating order.

And then there are the hereditary titles. All the Tengkus, and Rajas and Syeds, and Sharifahs and blah blahs.

I've met my share of proud proud people who not only reinforce this ancient and backward hierarcal system, but look down on us commoners. It's disgusting. I am PROUD to be a commoner ok?

I used to know someone who truly coveted the titled people, and hoped to one day marry a Datuk in order to be a Datin. Pathetic, no?

And then there are the tragic lot who forces people around them to call them by their titles, and not their given names. My dad told of this vain and stupid female lecturer who insisted her students and colleagues call her Datin.

Good luck having any friends, yeah Datin?

If I was Mr. December, I'd probably be cursing and calling people using animal metaphors, but I'm not going to waste my breath on a bunch of people who not only are silly, vain and have only God to answer to one day, but also will never learn that the measure of a man is not in their titles and possessions, but their soul and their mind.