My Muse  

Posted by Kamelia

We decided to get out of the stuffy house and catch a movie, myself and some cousins in the spirit of Chinese New Year. Jusco sprouts out everywhere now, and there was one hardly five minutes drive away from my aunty's house.

We decided to catch Music & Lyrics starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. Everyone else had plans to watch Ghost Rider at a later date. So there I was stuck watching yet another Hugh Grant movie, after I swore I wouldn't after watching Bridget Jones Diary. His movies is always that cad who becomes reformed after having some soul-searching conversation with the heroine. This movie was no different.

What's different was the subject it was all about. Of writing and being passionate about it. I USED to have a passion for writing. For all I know I still do. But I don't apply it here in this blog. In fact, I can't help but not be passionate when I write on the internet. It's an entirely different medium that I can't connect to unlike some people.

It took me a long time to realize that I couldn't write as well as I could on the computer than I would with a pencil and paper. When the blog era came about, I was so excited at the prospect of letting my ideas and thoughts being known to friends and curious strangers. But years have gone by, and it is the humble pen and diary that I miss most.

I used to keep journals when I was younger, and when I go through them again now, I could laugh and cry all at the same time. Wondering what the hell I was thinking then to have such a silly crush on such a silly boy. Or pine over something that was so insignificant. My innocence is such a laughable thing now when I read those diary entries, but I envy that person I was then. That experience of feeling something new.

I'm terrified of being jaded.

When I saw Music & Lyrics it reminded me just how much so I am. I couldn't remember the last time I wrote a poem just for fun, or was inspired to write a short story...even if there was never an ending for them. I see Baby so often now, that there's no reason for me to write letters anymore. Neither do I scribble funny quotes in my jotter book for the sheer purpose to laugh at them at a later date.

How does one find their muse again? I need to know.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 and is filed under . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Malaysia License.