My Confused Muse  

Posted by Kamelia

I had a friend once, who thought that the biggest sin one could commit was to plagiarize another person's work and write it off as your own. Maybe so. But her rules were so rigid that she would refuse to even be inspired by someone in order to write her work. And how she'd write....plays, scripts, short stories, poetry and sometimes even her doodles were a work of art. Her writing was brilliant, and I was at awe with this great writer that I felt lived ahead of her time.

But that's the problem when you surround yourself with someone who is simply so great, that you're not simply overshadowed, but suddenly whatever you wrote seemed to look like chicken scratch compared to hers.

It's a volatile relationship, and the stuff of storybooks and tragic plays. A love hate relationship that only threatens to destroy another.

And destroy it did. But like the primal animals that prowl our forests the stronger one will generally endure.

For a long time, I took whatever she said to heart. I felt that any work that I've done by being inspired by a movie, a picture or another person's animated conversation as something that isn't truly mine. It was "plagiarized" and isn't worthy.

My muse was confused for a long time.

I have only kept this blog since then. My journals and notebook remains untouched save for the insignificant going ons of my life. Exclamations of "Oooo Kamy, English you terrerr!!" does nothing compared to winning the approval of that one person. As childish as it may seem.

I'm stepping into the working world soon, where the creative brain juices of mine is going to be put to the test. I should get over her and move on.

I should.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 01, 2007 and is filed under , , . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .



I can truly relate to this feeling of yours. For me, I have different of that certain 'someone' that I secretly seek approval of concerning different areas of my life.

We do know it's an unhealthy obsession, but it is an ironic thing, for it fuels us, yet it undermines us, all in our own head.

Let's toast to the day that we escape from this.

Release yourself, Kamy :)

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